Band-Aids don’t always work.

There’s a reason ordinary people don’t do explosive squibs all the time — because it’s so easy to screw up.

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Science can save your skin!

If you can feel heat through your gloves, whatever you’re holding is hot enough that you want to find a way to put it down right now. It’s just going to get hotter. You don’t want that on your hands. Literally.

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“Lift with your legs, Hercules!”

Get someone to help with the heavy lifting. It’s okay — no one expects anyone on set to be Hercules…

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Certain tasks should never be randomly assigned.

If you have a pyrotechnical device, never leave the arming key in the firing system if you have to walk away from it… NO EXCEPTIONS. And yes, you have an arming key, the removal of which will make the effect impossible to trigger. Of course you do.

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Who needs a working brain?!

You know those little adapters that let you plug a three-prong plug into a two-hole socket? Don’t use those.

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Finger-count must remain consistent.

Everybody working lights should get a pair of gloves. Even a cheap-o dollar-store pair of gloves is better than nothing. Lights can get very hot and you don’t want second-degree burns becoming a “badge of honor” on your sets. Spring for gloves.

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That’s not technically a “special effect,” there…

Regarding cables, lights, power supplies and other things plugged into the wall: These things should not get hot. If they feel hot to you, tell someone immediately. You don’t want them getting any hotter, and you definitely don’t want them to start smoking or burst into flame.

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Plus, they eat your food.

Yes, being on a film set can be fun, but think very hard before allowing people on set who are neither cast not crew. They can be dangerous wildcards.

“Oh, we thought he was with you!“

Spooky locations where mischief can happen invite mischief, such as dark woods, insane asylums, corn mazes, etc. Assign people to buddy groups for safety.

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Be a good camper!

If you’re shooting at a natural location, such as a beach or a forest, when you’re all done, pass out trash bags and everybody wander around picking up trash and making it prettier. Not just your production’s stuff, but spread out. Make your group the Entropy Decreasing Group.

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You really need those fingers.

It is okay to call a halt if you don’t feel a pyro or other effect is safe, or you suddenly see something that looks very wrong. It may screw up the shot, but wasting time or money is far preferable to wasting lives.

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We can replace interns!

Tape every cord down, except for under the tripods and C-stands, lights, etc. You don’t want people tripping over cords.

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It’s like being a superhero.

If you’re crewing, bring a pair of gloves. Even cheapo dollar store gloves.

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Stretch those chewy hamstrings!

Before you do stunts or other physically demanding action, take a few minutes to stretch and limber up. There’s a reason zombie hunters do it!

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Tension Breeds Resentment

When taping cables and cords down, always leave a very generous series of loops at each C-stand, tripod, or workstation. This is so you can move stuff around without retaping.

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“Sudden Massive Tissue Loss” +100 points!

When loading shells in a mortar, try to drop them in with your non-dominant hand (if you’re right-handed, drop with the left hand). That way, if you experience Sudden Massive Tissue Loss, you still have your favorite hand.

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Yes, even a nuke.

If you must have a live weapon on set, such as a pistol, or a shotgun, or a nuclear weapon, have one expert dedicated to babysitting that object. They must never let it out of their sight. Pay attention to what they have to say. If they say the actor is being unsafe, fix the actor — don’t shush the expert.

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