That which must not be spoken aloud.

Hellbender Media teams up with Seattle International Films and flies all the way to the birthplace and soul of American author H. P. Lovecraft — Providence, Rhode Island! Seeing as how we’re in Providence, and it’s Lovecraft’s birthday and we’re at NecronomiCon, then why not make a Lovecraftian movie?

Why not indeed!

As with all workshops at a new convention, we approached this workshop carefully, not sure how many people would actually show up. We had nothing to fear, however. NecronomiCon showed us a ton of love and let lots of people know about the workshop. In fact, not only did they let everybody know, they even let us use probably the best venue ever for our workshop — the Black Box Theater. The Black Box was a small movie theater below, and two large (and arcanely decorated) meeting rooms above. It was perfect for our one-weekend makeshift studio. Correction — more than perfect!

As with most workshops, we wibbled and wobbled a bit, looking for a hook, and then finally, the idea of combining two ideas coalesced. On one hand, doing a “Nine Billion Names of God” nod, but also combining it with the notion that the worst part of a supernatural creature appearing in modern times would be putting up with the kind of idiocy that might be evident at, say, a focus group…

Thus was born Naming the Unnameable, wherein two intrepid cultists, in an effort to bring an end to all that ever was, is, and shall be, realize that they can’t do it unless they can figure out the actual name of the unnameable demon they’re trying to summon.

Nowadays, we do that with focus groups. The trouble is, of course, that if you thought end-of-the-world cultists were weird, wait until you find out who ends up on their focus groups!


  • Cultist #1: Uriah Brown
  • Cultist #2: Greg Bevelhymer
  • Ted: Guy Thomas
  • Scruffy: Keith Ward
  • Herb: Sam Hayes
  • Mike: Mark Pekar
  • Diana: Diana Painter
  • Everett: Chris Phillips
  • Carla: Feather Poirier
  • Ben: Harold Mikolaitis
  • Cindy: Kristine Beskin
  • Sam: Alex
  • Cheryl: Diana Rodriguez
  • Snuggler #1: David Hoard
  • Snuggler #2: ___________?
  • Fly: Buzzy Lazar IV


  • Produced by: Edward Martin III & Ryan K. Johnson
  • Director: Edward Martin III
  • Camera/Editor: Ryan K. Johnson
  • Sound: Edward Martin III
  • Lighting: Thomas Nicol
  • Production Assistant: Matt Black
  • Shemp: Mike Lynch
  • Shemp: Raymond Howard
  • Special Thanks: Niels Hobbs
  • Special Thanks: Scott Lefebvre
  • Special Thanks: Anthony “Teth” Garamia
  • Special Thanks: Ric Royer
  • Special Thanks: The City of Providence, Rhode Island
  • Special Thanks: The Black Box Theater
  • Shot on location in Providence, Rhode Island