Fantiques Roadshow

For our thirteenth year with the Let’s Make a Movie! workshop at Norwescon, several promising ideas were tossed around, but in astonishingly short order, a clear winner emerged -- a parody of The Antiques Roadshow. But this would be more than just a parody of the show. This would be a parody of the last episode of the show, where the caption writers are mid-quitting, and even the assessors have given up on all attempts at respectability and safety.

First step was studying, because as it turned out, none of our workshop heads had ever seen a full episode. Or a part of an episode. But by the end of the Evening of Studying, we had achieved a level of expertise enough to argue over whether or not we’d use the American or the BBC version.

There was a lot of improvisation in these sketches. Each of the pairings had a few minutes to practice their patter and their exchanges. The result is a hilarious stream of increasingly bizarre artifacts, including:

  • A “practice massage” orange once held by William Shatner
  • A scarf once worn by Doctor Who actor Colin Baker
  • A spoon from the set of The Matrix
  • A steam-powered baby carriage
  • A peculiar Egyptian artifact
  • A vase from the set of the Star Trek episode “Space Seed”
  • A former child star
  • A Hasbro™ mind-control helmet
  • A hat from the Titanic
  • “The Deadly Pair” ninja swords
  • Mel Gibson’s kilt
  • Spirit guns
  • Sacrificial dagger
  • An authentic Viking inflatable sword
  • A mysterious medallion

One by one, hopeful presenters bring their peculiar family artifacts to our assessors. Some find that they have items of great value. Others are not so lucky, but at least learn more about their artifacts.

In addition to what was happening in the video, we threaded another gag in the mix -- because this was the last episode, the caption writers decided to tell their own version of the story!

A good time is had by all!

Cast

  • Announcer: Doug Staudt
  • Assessors: Thomas Gray, Brian Hunt, Lisa Sherman
  • Presenters: Elizabeth Dahlstrom, Dana Halfhill, Lori Hillard, Ryan K. Johnson, Dqniel Kaufman, Donald Lake, Brian D. Oberquell, Griffin Reddig, Mike Reddig, David Tackett, Anita Taylor, Kate Waterous, ___________________(ninja), Gabby _______________ (prop gun), Tina ______________ (dagger), _______________ (inflatable sword), Ray ________________ (medallion)

Crew

  • Produced by Edward Martin III, Brian D. Oberquell, Eric Morgret and Ryan K. Johnson.
  • Directed by Edward Martin III.
  • Photographed and edited by Ryan K. Johnson.
  • Sound by Edward Martin III and Lisa Sherman.
  • Intern: Hank ________________
  • Intern: Todd Gardiner